Sunday, March 30, 2008
这真的是爱吗?对不起.我不想相信也不想接受.但是我还是忘不了他.就是那个他.sister nana struck me with some
questions todae..
why am i always guarding myself? why am i always so insercue?i was lost for words.
i am someone who is
naive and
stupid. maybe cause of this thats why i am like this?
i am
afraid of being hurt and i hate to be in that kind of "i don't know what else i can do" situation. i don't feel the
love i want from my family. maybe because i am expecting too much? or they show me their
love in some way that i cannot see it. at times i would get
paranoid easliy. lets just say that i'm
abnormal. things in school isn't getting any better. guys like yin keat and victor are always teasing about me and adrian or me and clement being together. that kind of
awkward plus idiotic feeling just kinda make me feel like banging my head against the wall. am i suppose to feel insercue? i mean i've already
recieve Christ into my life, i'm not suppose to feel that way yeah? but i still feel that way. i rather
isolate myself then be with a group of people and
feel left out. i'm always thinking that people are
against me. hearing other people whispering when i am near them make me feel that they making bad remarks around me. even my posting this post make me start to think about the reactions from people i would get later.
why don't i try to be more sercue in God and not be so insercue anymore?
i don't even trust myself, how can i trust others..great..all these posting about being insercue make me feel like i've some sort of
depression or somthing..lols.
random:
a saturday like any other saturday. but my saturday is filled with words from God(:
i did my qt today, have u done yours? (:
qijun.p
